K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
40s are totally the cure
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
