oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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