i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
