Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.

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(586): View more from Michigan

yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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(409): View more from Texas

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

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(212): View more from New York

Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(941): View more from Florida

Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

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(626): View more from California

Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.

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(816): View more from Missouri

We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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(620): View more from Kansas

Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...

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