Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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(563): View more from Iowa

whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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(519): View more from Ontario

When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

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(907): View more from Alaska

It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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(847): View more from Illinois

worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

(302): View more from Delaware

yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

(302): View more from Delaware

wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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(613): View more from Ontario

I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."

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