I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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