Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.