wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."