I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!