I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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