You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
