The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
