The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
