He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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