I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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