I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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