Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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