Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
