Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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