I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
