Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
