just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
