You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
