Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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