His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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