As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize