question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
