We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
