definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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