I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
