i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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