Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
