Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
