Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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