Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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