Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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