Porn is love you can see.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
