Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
