I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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