forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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