Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
bring money and cleavage
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
