the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
