I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
