Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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