Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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