brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
