she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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