Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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