Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
