I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
