She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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