I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
