I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
