we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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