Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
