i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize