Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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