non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
