Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
