Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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