just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
