They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Found your dick twin last night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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