so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
