nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your cock deserves a montage
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
