Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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