Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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